“He’s a
totally corrupt swamp thing, and here’s the worst part of his manifest
corruption – he doesn’t seem to realize that he’s corrupt, if not personally
than in terms of allowing his bum kid to leverage his position. He thinks it’s A-OK for his boy Hoover to cash in
all over the globe. After all, that’s what you do, right? That’s part of the
benefits package for being in the liberal elite. And all these people fussing
and fighting about the paternity test-failing dirtbag getting rich are totally
out of line. How dare they? HOW DARE THEY!”
He
wants to raise taxes, open the borders, let you pay for illegal aliens’ sex
changes, and spark a civil war by taking guns from the people who don’t commit
crimes.
Joe
Biden? Seriously?
The
establishment narrative on Joe Biden is, to put it mildly, malarkey. Gropey J
actually is everything the liberals accuse Donald Trump of being – bizarre,
vulgar, dumb, corrupt, incompetent, and utterly unfit to be president. But yet
the Creepy Veepy is so much more. In the last month, this totally not-senile,
not-at-all-weird guy has assembled a track record of freaky behavior that would
put mid-eighties Crispin
Glover to
shame.
Let’s
review…
Corn Pop
is old news. Biden’s latest rambling onion-on-the-belt monologue was something about
little kids at a pool rubbing his leg hair or something – it’s so random I’m
not even linking to it. There’s no best-case scenario here – he’s just creepy.
Then, for
no other reason than I guess he felt like a snack, he started gnawing on his
wife’s fingers in public and on camera. You know, like people do. You wonder
what the thought process there was…
“Hey,
sure are lots of cameras…gosh, I’m kind of hungry…oh look, an index finger.
Yum.”
I’m a
little surprised he didn’t pull out a packet of ketchup.
But the
best part was when some guy pointed out that, you know, Biden’s loser son Lil’
Crackpipe is the poster child for corruption and Sane Joe started spazzing out
and calling him “fat” and challenging him to a push-up contest for some reason.
This is
just odd. And this is the candidate who, amazingly, is still in the lead for
the Democrat nomination.
And then
there’s the groping females thing. He still does it occasionally, though the
media does its best to curtail coverage of his lecherous creeping. Do you
believe there’s any chance at all that he is not going to, at some point, have
some horrifying incident with some female at the White House, you know, like
grabbing the Queen for a hug n’ rub, or walking absent-mindedly into the press
room in a flapping robe with Little Joe and the gang in effect?
And let’s
be charitable. No one has ever called Joe Biden “smart.” Well, maybe as a joke.
The fact is that he’s a 40-watt guy in a 100-watt world. Haters say Trump is
dumb, but he is demonstrably not dumb. The thing about Trump is that because
our garbage elite hates him it tends to ascribe all possible negative
characteristics to him regardless of whether they apply. Trump is cunning,
crafty and has a keen sense of strategy. You may dislike him, but that does not
change the fact that alone, against the full force of the elite and its media
serfs, he prevailed and continues to prevail. If Trump, who managed to figure
out that it would be a good idea to campaign in Wisconsin, is dumb, what does
that make Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit and the sobbing losers who supported
her?
No one
can seriously argue that Joe Biden is smart, and no one does. They’ll either
call you “racist” or start complaining about Trump. But you won’t get anyone
comparing the former veep to Stephen Hawking. They just sort of elide past his
staggering stupidity, perhaps hoping that whoever he picks for his veep will
give him a rubber ball to play with and lock him in an Oval Office closet when
it's time to do some presidenting.
He’s a
totally corrupt swamp thing, and here’s the worst part of his manifest
corruption – he doesn’t seem to realize that he’s corrupt, if not personally
than in terms of allowing his bum kid to leverage his position. He thinks it’s A-OK for his boy Hoover to cash in
all over the globe. After all, that’s what you do, right? That’s part of the
benefits package for being in the liberal elite. And all these people fussing
and fighting about the paternity test-failing dirtbag getting rich are totally
out of line. How dare they? HOW DARE THEY!
Understand
that Biden sees nothing wrong with this. Nothing. And that means there will be
exponentially more of it. Hell, the useless DoJ under Trump won’t prosecute
obvious graft. Do you think a DoJ that’s thrilled to have a fellow traveler
back in the White House is going to root out Biden's business badness? You do?
Well, then meet my unicorn Chet.
And
SloJoe is utterly incompetent. This is the guy who thought they should let bin
Laden skate. As Robert Gates, no Trumpie, said, "I think he has been
wrong on nearly every major foreign policy and national security issue over the
past four decades.”
This is
the guy who wants to take your doctor, again, and impose another brilliant
healthcare reform idea, again – all designed to unscrew the last big healthcare
reform the Democrats passed, which he praised as “a big [vulgarity] deal.”
He wants
to obey that tiresome Swedish teenager’s commands to sacrifice at the altar of
the weird weather cult. He wants to appoint all Hawaiian and Scat Franciscan
judges.
He
wants to raise taxes, open the borders, let you pay for illegal aliens’ sex
changes, and spark a civil war by taking guns from the people who don’t commit
crimes.
When you
think of a calm, steady, wise presence guiding the nation, you do not think of
Joe Biden, though that’s what is allegedly needed to end the nightmare of the
Trump presidency – you know, the record job numbers and the lack of stupid new
wars. You think of Obama and Stumbles McMyturn, only dumber and touchier.
Just
recently, Biden’s campaign ran an ad alleging that foreigners were “laughing”
at Donald Trump. Is there any Democrat anywhere who takes America’s side in a
dispute with malicious aliens? In any case, those tin pot euroweenies had
plenty to cry about – Donald Trump has forced them to pay up for NATO. Of
course, that will end too if Joe takes office. We’ll return to business as
usual – the business as usual of being shafted for the benefit of the global
bigshots.
Basically,
we’ll get rid of all the peace and prosperity that Trump has brought and get
back to normal – that is, people like us being plundered by the garbage elite.
Trump has
a track record of success, and Democrats hate him. Joe has a track record of failure,
corruption, and creepiness. Well, I guess we know why the Democrats seem to love him.
It’s out
now, my new novel Collapse, the action-packed yet hilarious
sequel to People's Republic, Indian Country and Wildfire. Friendless loser Never Trumpers
hate it, so you’ll love it.
***One last thing. On
Wednesdays, there's BONUS KURT if you're a Townhall VIP member. Sign up today.
Three Kurts is better than two.
The Democratic Party Is Wounded and Dangerous
Beware the wounded animal. In pain and desperation, it will do violent things. It seems to me no coincidence that Joe Biden's big win on Super Tuesday was followed by Democratic senator Chuck Schumer threatening conservative members of the Supreme Court on Wednesday.
Joe Biden is hardly Lancelot to President Trump's dragon. The Democrats and the Deep State needed a first-class warrior; instead, their best option is a walking advertisement for Alzheimer's awareness. In his best days, Joe Biden was the political equivalent of Jack McCall, shooting his adversaries in the back. When he wasn't using his position of power for financial gain or stealing other people's words, he was helping his family line their own pockets. Today, he's a disoriented and stumbling shell of an unimportant political hack who looks on in confusion while his wife does his fighting for him. If you've ever wondered what happens to the shriveled soul of a lifetime liar and Democratic swindler, just cast your eyes upon Old Joe. He's a walking, talking effigy of Democratic corruption and amorality. He's what the Democratic Party usually keeps far off the main stage for the back-alley entertainment; now he's the main event, but no amount of stick-prodding by Donna Brazile or Tom Perez is going to turn Joe Biden into Fred Astaire. He's a freak-show carnival attraction at best, amazing onlookers by his ability to occasionally jumble audible words together into a sentence. The Democrats needed a man who could command a movement; all they got was a man who can barely control his own.
I'm not saying President Trump's re-election is in the bag. Far from it. We've never seen such an array of villains acting in concert to take down an American president. The Democratic Party has most of the permanent bureaucratic Deep State (as well as stealthy anti-Trump Republicans), Wall Street, Russia, Iran, China, Venezuela, cosmopolitan Europe, global warming doomsayers, the Middle East's worst terrorists, and domestic Antifa terrorists here at home all actively working to dislodge President Trump from the White House. In the past, the chiefs of our intelligence agencies and clandestine services retired into relative obscurity, cognizant that duty commanded their silent withdrawal into the pages of history. After orchestrating a coup against the American president, however, it is not unusual to see the former heads of Obama's CIA, FBI, and NSC all tirelessly justifying their criminal acts on cable news each night. The corporate news media and institutional government have spent years trying to gin up enough hysteria in the nation that mock beheadings of the president and ritual re-enactments of his assassination during summer theater might lead the American people to clamor for the real thing.
So, no, the 2020 election will not be over until all the votes have been counted on November 3, and it becomes clear that we have successfully preserved Western civilization for at least a little while longer from this most recent manifestation of Vienna's bloody 1683 siege. All I am saying is that Joe Biden was never meant to be the establishment's champion for resurrecting their oligarchic power. They wanted a formidable presidential nominee, someone who could check all the right identity politics boxes while stringing words together that were substantively meaningless while singularly inspiring. Instead, they're settling for a politician past his expiration date who sounds less crème de la crème and more soused in crème de menthe. The Democratic Party may depend on dead voters to win elections, but running dead candidates is another thing altogether.
So just because the cable news anchors and Carville clones are all high-fiving each other and cheering for managing to narrowly prevent a communist disciple of Stalin and Castro from sewing up the Democratic nomination for president by the beginning of March, don't forget how disappointed they are at heart. If Biden goes on to clinch the nomination, the Democratic Party will have managed to take all the aloof, plain, manila-folder blandness of John Kerry and combine it with the alertness and energy of a nursing home after pill rounds. This is the one whom the commentariat is celebrating right now, the guy Obama and the gang blocked from running in 2016 because they felt him not quite up for the challenge when he was four years younger. The vice president during the slowest economic recovery since the Great Depression, the wordsmith who marveled at Obama for being strangely "articulate" for a black guy, and the obtrusive shoulder-rubber whose chief political instinct was to sniff the hair of the wives and daughters of White House officials and visiting dignitaries. Imagine being in such dire straits because the previous Democratic president so hollowed out the party's future by losing over a thousand elected officials across the country during his time in office that the last, great hope to beat President Trump this year is just hoping to make it to bed each afternoon before saying something so inappropriate or illogical or ridiculous that Red Bernie becomes the Democrat's Dear Leader by default. For every minute of his few wakeful hours, his handlers have to be on constant guard against the possibility that a voice in Biden's head will scream, "Oh, look, a young child with wonderful-smelling hair." "Comeback Joe"? More like "Come back, Joe!"
The Democrats and the Deep State have spent the last four years constructing the greatest wag-the-dog spectacle America's ever seen in an attempt to cover up the malfeasance and criminality of the last administration, while preventing the current one from achieving too many victories. Considering that Brennan and Comey are still free and Obama and Hillary are still smiling, they've been remarkably successful. But the Mueller obfuscation and Schiff circus are behind us, the dance music of delay is dying down, and the Democrats' and Deep State's ability to keep pushing back their day of reckoning is coming to an end. If they don't win in 2020, they cannot keep justice at bay, regardless of how stacked in their favor it has always been in the past. And standing in the gap as their last-ditch prospect to save them from President Trump's re-election and spare them from long delayed judgment is none other than Corn Pop's archenemy. The one "reasonable" Democrat in the race who has already burnished his "moderate" credentials by fully embracing Bernie's Green New Deal, Warren's Medicare for All, and Beto's door-to-door gun confiscation. Nothing says "electable centrist Democrat" like "D'oh!" Biden's full tilt toward Marxist socialism. No wonder Chuck Schumer sounds like some injured animal in the forest, lashing out at tree branches all around him. That's what small, weak, dying creatures do when they know the end is near.
Democrats are watching the speeding train head to the washed out bridge
It would take a heart of stone not to laugh at the Democrats' current dilemma. The party of racial diversity has only white candidates. The party of youth has only old candidates. The party's top candidate is an angry, spit-flecked, wild-maned old man who has been a Marxist his entire life, has never held a real job in the private sector, is now hypocritically reveling in the life of a millionaire and can't stop himself from praising grotesque dictators.
And here's the biggest laugh of all: the
Democrat party's only hope is a confused old
man whose corruption is oozing into the
open only because the Democrats wagered
everything on impeaching President Trump.
Democrat party's only hope is a confused old
man whose corruption is oozing into the
open only because the Democrats wagered
everything on impeaching President Trump.
It's very likely that, if the Democrats hadn't been bound and determined to impeach Trump, Gropey Biden's dirty dealings in Ukraine on behalf of his cocaine-snorting, alcohol-chugging, widow-shtupping, stripper-impregnating, deadbeat-dad son would have stayed in the shadows. However, by choosing Trump's phone call to Ukraine's President Zelensky as the impeachment bridge to die on, the Democrats practically hired a blimp to circle the Super Bowl stadium while trailing a sign saying, "Our preferred candidate for president is corrupt."
The latest assault on Biden's weak claim that he did nothing wrong comes out of Ukraine. According to John Solomon:
A Ukrainian court has ordered an investigation into whether Joe Biden violated any laws when he forced the March 2016 firing of the country's chief prosecutor.
The ruling could revive scrutiny of Hunter Biden's lucrative relationship with an energy firm in that corruption-plagued country just as the former vice president's campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination is surging after a lackluster start.
Former Prosecutor General Viktor Shokin, who has long alleged he was fired because he would not stop investigating the Burisma Holdings firm that employed Hunter Biden, secured the ruling last month. Ukrainian officials confirmed the State Bureau of Investigation has since complied and initiated the probe.
[snip]
The ruling does not mention Biden by name, but court filings by Shokin's lawyers that led to the decision show that the former prosecutor had alleged "the commission of a criminal offense against him by Joseph Biden, a citizen of the United States of America, in Ukraine and abroad: interference in the activities of a law enforcement officer."
Joe Biden has been in politics since 1972. Behind the good-guy persona is a self-centered, vicious, corrupt man. It would take a longer blog post than this to detail all the things that stand against him, but here's a short list:
- He invented "borking," when he joined with Teddy Kennedy to malign in the crudest, most vicious fashion one of America's leading jurists, Robert Bork.
- For decades, he has smeared the reputation of the man who drove the truck involved in the accident that killed Biden's wife and daughter.
- He lied about his academic record.
- He's plagiarized on at least two occasions, with the second act of plagiarism destroying his first presidential run.
- He gropes children.
- He has consistently embarrassed female Secret Service agents by swimming naked in front of them.
- He's enriched his entire family to the tune of billions of dollars in suspect business deals with Ukraine, China, Costa Rica, Iraq, Kazakhstan, and Russia, all countries in Biden's portfolio as vice president.
And note, please, that the above list has nothing to do with Biden's political stands, which, while hewing left, are all over the board, drifting with the political winds. His only consistent position has been to hate the Second Amendment. He's just another leftist who prefers to govern over disarmed subjects.
It will be interesting, to say the least, to see what comes out of Ukraine as the campaign progresses, especially if the Democrats succeed in wresting a primary victory out of Bernie the Red's clutches and bestowing it on Biden.
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